[Observation lounge]

(As they were walking through the Bridge, we could see that Kolrami takes two quick steps to Riker's one stride. He's a short, round, busy person.)
PICARD: Mister Kolrami. Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Welcome aboard.
KOLRAMI: Captain. I bring greetings from those at Starfleet Command.
PICARD: Would you care to be shown to your quarters?
KOLRAMI: I require little rest, Captain. I prefer that we commence with our mission.

WORF: Despite their reputations, this Zakdorn does not appear to be a very formidable warrior
DATA: In the game of military brinksmanship, individual physical prowess is less important than the perception of a species as a whole. For over nine millennia, potential foes have regarded the Zakdorns as having the greatest innately strategic minds in the galaxy.
WORF: So no one is willing to test that perception in combat.
DATA: Exactly.
WORF: Then the reputation means nothing.

[Observation lounge]

(Kolrami is giving a presentation at the viewscreen.)
KOLRAMI: The Braslota System. In orbit around the second planet is the eighty-year old Starcruiser, Hathaway. He is still your first choice?
PICARD: Commander Riker will captain the Hathaway.
KOLRAMI: You will have forty eight hours to ready your vessel before the Enterprise attacks.
RIKER: And we'll experience actual battle conditions?
KOLRAMI: Correct. Engineering will disconnect the Enterprise's weapons and link the system with the modified laser-pulse beam. All hits will be recorded electronically. If the computer registers damage, it will act accordingly, shutting down the affected areas for the appropriate repair time. Additional questions? Captain Picard, it is my understanding that you initially resisted Starfleet's request for this simulation.
PICARD: Yes.
KOLRAMI: May I know why?
PICARD: Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.
KOLRAMI: Then why am I here?
PICARD: With the Borg threat, I decided that my officers and I needed to hone our tactical skills. In a crisis situation, it is prudent to have several options.
RIKER: I prefer brains over brawn as well. I think it's a waste of effort to test our combat skills. It's a minor province in the make-up of a starship captain.
KOLRAMI: Your objection is noted. Let us hope your distaste for the exercise will not affect your strategic abilities.
RIKER: Mister Kolrami, when I agree to do something. I do it. Do you care to surrender now, Captain?

[Bridge]

PICARD: Well, Number One, you are allowed a complement of forty, so select whom you will, save of course Mister Data, who will serve as my first officer during your absence.
KOLRAMI: I had envisioned you defining the crew.
PICARD: On my ship, the leader of an away team has total control of the mission. If you want to judge leadership, why not start at the beginning?
KOLRAMI: Very well, Captain.
(Kolrami leaves) 
PULASKI: My, what a charmer.
PICARD: Doctor.
PULASKI: Captain, he needs an attitude adjustment.
DATA: The Zakdornian culture is replete with self-assuredness and confidence. Seldom is it undeserved. For example, Kolrami is a third level grand master at the game of Strategema.

[Engineering]

(Adjustments are being made to something on the warp core.)
LAFORGE: Another millimetre. That's it. A little more. There. That's excellent.
RIKER: Lieutenant?
LAFORGE: Yes, Commander.
RIKER: You've heard of the simulation aboard the Hathaway?
LAFORGE: Yes, sir, and the best of luck to you. I've researched the old Avidyne engines. They're archaic by our standards, very touchy.
(The first of many Buckaroo Banzai references in this story)
RIKER: Anticipating the worst, do you think they can be whipped into shape in forty eight hours?
LAFORGE: I've already taken the liberty of putting together a few necessities.

[Worf's quarters]

(He seems to be building a matchstick ship, The door chime makes him break a stick.)
WORF: Enter!
RIKER: Am I disturbing you?
(Worf sweeps the wreckage off the desk) 
WORF: Just finished.
RIKER: You know of the simulation. What do you think?
WORF: Waste of time.
RIKER: It's just designed to be an exercise.
WORF: Useless. If there is nothing to lose, no sacrifice, then there is nothing to gain.
RIKER: You mean besides pride. Well, in this case it doesn't matter. I probably haven't got a chance.
WORF: There is always a chance.
RIKER: Slim. The Hathaway's most sophisticated weapon system, even in a computer mock-up, can't hope to defeat the Enterprise.
WORF: Well, still
RIKER: You're out-manned, you're out-gunned, you're out-equipped. What else have you got?
WORF: Guile.
RIKER: Join me.
WORF: The honour is to serve.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Begin long-range scanning of all sectors within three light years of Braslota. How is your crew shaping up?
RIKER: It's complete, but I would like to request an addition.
PICARD: Anyone in particular?
RIKER: With your permission, I would like Acting Ensign Crusher aboard for educational observation.
(Picard nods)
WESLEY: Thank you, Captain.
(Wesley leaves)
RIKER: It appears we will have some time before reaching Braslota. I was wondering if you'd agree to play me in a game of Strategema.
KOLRAMI: Although I am intrigued by the audacity of your request, I can't fathom why you wish the encounter.
RIKER: I enjoy a challenge.
KOLRAMI: Very well. An opponent of limited dimensions can often be quite diverting.
RIKER: Thank you.

[Corridor]

LAFORGE: So you're going to beat him?
RIKER: Nope.
LAFORGE: Well, then it's going to be a close one.
RIKER: No.
LAFORGE: But you have got a chance?
RIKER: Nah.
LAFORGE: Are you going to bother to show up?
RIKER: Sure, Kolrami is the best ever at Strategema. Just to get to play him is a privilege.
LAFORGE: Other aside from your being privileged, is there anything else I can look forward to?
RIKER: Nope.
LAFORGE: This is going to be exciting.

[Ten Forward]

(Troi putting the finger controls on Kolrami, while Worf is Riker's second. They are staring at each other across a board which will project a vertical game board)
PULASKI: Against an opponent of approximate skill, Strategema can last well over one thousand moves.
LAFORGE: I wouldn't bet on us being here that long.
WORF: I have wagered heavily in the ship's pool that you will take him past the sixth plateau.
RIKER: And if I don't?
WORF: I will be irritated.
DATA: Forever curious, this urge to compete.
PULASKI: It's a human response. That inborn craving to gauge your capabilities through conflict.
DATA: Doctor, there are other ways to challenge oneself.
PULASKI: Perhaps, but they all lack a certain thrill.
TROI: Data, humans sometimes find it helpful to have an outsider set the standard by which they're judged.
DATA: To avoid deceiving oneself.
PULASKI: Maybe you should challenge Kolrami to Strategema.
DATA: Why, Doctor?
PULASKI: Because when someone is that smug, you occasionally have to deflate them just a little.
LAFORGE: Yeah, Data, I'd like to see your neural flex tear him down a peg.
DATA: To what end?
WORF: Computer. Actuation positions for Strategema. Ready? Begin.
LAFORGE: Come on, Commander, come on now.
TROI: Will.
LAFORGE: You can do it. You can get him. Come on, Commander. Come on, you got him, you got him, watch out. Here you go.
(And the score at the top of the board reads - Riker 023, Kolrami 100)
PULASKI: That's it?
RIKER: I'm afraid so.
PULASKI: But but you only made twenty-three moves.
RIKER: Yes. Congratulations. <

[Bridge]

The Hathaway is old, battered, with that nacelle design of two above, two below)
PICARD: Commander Riker, there's your next challenge.
WORF [OC]: Away team assembled and ready to transport, Commander.
RIKER: I may get over there and want to come right home.
PICARD: Good luck, Number One. Captain.
KOLRAMI: The simulation will commence in forty eight hours.

[Hathaway Bridge]

(It looks like it's been partially stripped for spares. Everyone is using torches at first)
LAFORGE: There should be some emergency Bridge lighting here.
(He finds it. We see the dust sheets and detail)
WORF: Not good.
RIKER: Ah, you're wrong, Mister Worf. It's fantastic. And it's ours. (offers him the First Officer's seat) Mister Worf.
WORF: Sir, Lieutenant La Forge is a superior officer. The honour should be his.
RIKER: Worf, this is a battle simulation. You're my Tactical Officer. I've discussed this with Geordi and we agreed. You need to be at my side.
LAFORGE: Besides, Worf, if Engineering's anything like the Bridge, I'm going to have my hands full.
(Riker sits and activates ship wide broadcast. We here the Original Series bosun whistle)
RIKER: Attention, crew of the USS Hathaway. This is your Captain. Over the next two days, you might lose a lot of sleep, but with your skill and your stamina, we'll have this old lady ready to fly. I want hourly progress reports from all stations. Riker out.

[Hathaway Bridge]

RIKER: Nice job, Geordi.

>[Hathaway Engineering]

RIKER [OC]: Now, what are the possibilities of warp drive?
LAFORGE: Not good. There are only a few dilithium fragments left in the holding clamps. Even if we had crystals that were intact, there's no anti-matter to fuel the drive.
RIKER [OC]: Any recommendations?
LAFORGE: No, sir.
WESLEY: We haven't got a prayer.

[Hathaway Bridge]


RIKER: Would you like to transfer back

[Hathaway Engineering]
RIKER [OC]: To the Enterprise, Mister Crusher?
WESLEY: No, sir.

[Hathaway Bridge]


RIKER: Wes, remember our purpose is to improvise,

[Hathaway Engineering]
RIKER [OC]: It's the effort that counts.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Open.
(hailing frequencies)
KOLRAMI: I believe the rules are understood by all.
PICARD: The weapons conversion, Lieutenant Burke?
(played by Glenn Morshower - as seen in CSI and 24)
BURKE: (at Worf's station) Complete, Captain.
WORF [on viewscreen]: Signal received. Locked on.
RIKER [on viewscreen]: She's really been stripped down, Captain.
KOLRAMI: The only offensive systems you'll need will be simulated by computer.
RIKER [on viewscreen]: What's the Zakdornian word for mismatch?
KOLRAMI: Challenge. We do not whine about the inequities of life. And how you perform in a mismatch is precisely what is of interest to Starfleet. After all, when one is in the superior position, one is expected to win.
PICARD: Screen off. You have the Bridge, Mister Data.
DATA: Aye, sir.
(Picard leaves)
KOLRAMI: Lieutenant Commander Data, I am intrigued by your challenge. Doctor Pulaski informed me of your desire to play a game of Strategema.
DATA: But I expressed no such interest.
PULASKI: What Commander Data means is that he would never have asked you himself, but I know he's very interested in pitting his skill against yours.
KOLRAMI: Play against a machine. Why should I wish to?
PULASKI: I don't blame you. It's no fun going into a game when you know you're going to lose.
KOLRAMI: But I wouldn't lose. Now you're no doubt going to tell me that I have to prove it to you.
PULASKI: Come on, Data, you can't let that pass.
DATA: Indeed, I. (pause) Cannot.
KOLRAMI: Then you will play for the honour of your ship.
PULASKI: The honour of the ship? It's your reputation that's on the line. <

[Hathaway Bridge]

WORF: With my knowledge of the Enterprise's security override, we may be able to convince the sensors that an enemy ship is approaching. Their instruments would lie to them.
RIKER: If you can pull that off, Mister Worf, it might just give us the edge we're looking for.
NAGEL: (a lady officer) But what about the viewscreen?
WORF: If I am successful, the computer will project a false image of the enemy ship on the main viewscreen.
RIKER: So unless someone runs to a window and looks out
NAGEL: They're going to fall for it.

[Hathaway Engineering]

(We are looking out from the warp core.)
WESLEY: The lining's still smooth. We should to be able to do something with these dilithium fragments we scavenged.
LAFORGE: Sure, the system is functional. But without antimatter, what difference does it make?
WESLEY: Geordi, I have to return to the Enterprise.
LAFORGE: Wes, we've only got thirty two hours.
WESLEY: This is important.
LAFORGE: And this isn't?

[Hathaway Bridge]

WORF: Attempt the routing bypass here. If it works, they will be surprised.
NAGEL: Where am I going to get the opticable?
(Worf reaches up and pulls down a handful of fibreoptics)
WORF: Anywhere.
WESLEY: Captain? I left an experiment running back on the Enterprise. May I go back and shut it down?
RIKER: It's that important?
WESLEY: It has to be monitored. And it is my final grade in plasma physics.

[Bridge]

BURKE: Message from the Hathaway, sir.
PICARD: On screen.
RIKER [on viewscreen]: Request permission for Ensign Crusher to reboard the Enterprise.
PICARD: Why?
RIKER [on viewscreen]: Apparently he was so anxious to be join the away team, he left a very critical experiment unattended.
PICARD: Have you any objection?
KOLRAMI: He should be escorted, and have no contact with anything save his research.
PICARD: Permission granted. Mister Burke, will you handle that?
BURKE: Aye, sir.
KOLRAMI: I saw no sense in Riker choosing him anyway. Just a non-commissioned child.

[Engineering]

WESLEY: I can't believe I forgot about this. It's a good lesson not to let excitement cloud your thinking.
BURKE: Yeah.
WESLEY: It's very dull. I spent six weeks setting this up.
BURKE: Lot of work.
WESLEY: Oh, no. This is ruined.
BURKE: That's too bad. Look, is this going to take much longer?
WESLEY: I'm going to have to dispose of this safely It's very volatile. I'll beam it off the Enterprise and leave it particalised.
BURKE: Fine, let's just do it.
WESLEY: I'll transfer the coordinates to the transporter room.

[Hathaway Engineering]
(Wesley's experiment apparatus beams in.)

[Ten Forward]

(The two contestants are being set up like before.)
DATA: In the present context, what did she mean by bust him up?
TROI: In her own way, Doctor Pulaski was instructing you to take the shortest route to victory.
DATA: As opposed to what?
BURKE: Ready? Begin.
(General babble of delight as Data seems to keep pace with Kolrami, right up to when he lost 081 to 100)
PULASKI: I can't believe it. The computer beaten by flesh and blood.
TROI: You advanced quite far against such a worthy opponent.
KOLRAMI: Thoroughly enjoyable, Mister Data. I am at your disposal for a rematch.
DATA: Thank you, but what would be the point?
(Kolrami leaves)
PULASKI: How can you lose? You're supposed to be infallible!
DATA: Obviously, I am not.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Ensign, where is Commander Data?
(cough - he was Lieutenant a few scenes ago!)
BURKE: He has temporarily removed himself from bridge duty, sir.
KOLRAMI: Your crew is excellently trained, Captain. A tribute to your leadership. Although I doubt their extensive preparation will be needed.
PICARD: Why is that?
KOLRAMI: I do not expect Captain Riker will present much of a challenge.
PICARD: Mister Kolrami, may I speak with you in private?

[Ready room]

PICARD: I would like to know the root of your prejudice for my First Officer.
KOLRAMI: Captain, I
PICARD: Mister Kolrami, you have been nothing but denigrating and abusive of Commander Riker since coming aboard this ship. Now I would like some explanation.
KOLRAMI: Having studied William Riker's file prior to this assignment, I have found him wanting.
PICARD: In what regard?
KOLRAMI: His work record is exemplary, but, as you well know, a starship captain is not manufactured. He, or she, is born from inside. From the character of the individual. My interviews have revealed a man who displays circumstantially inappropriate joviality, belying the seriousness of his station.
PICARD: Don't confuse style with intent. Only a fool would question Commander Riker's dedication to Starfleet and the men and women under his command. He is simply the finest officer with whom I have ever served.
KOLRAMI: We shall see if your faith is well founded.
PICARD: The test is if a crew will follow where Commander Riker leads. His joviality is the means by which he creates that loyalty. And I will match his command style with your statistics any time.

[Data's quarters]

DATA: Come in, please.
TROI: Data.
DATA: Counsellor. Is something wrong?
TROI: That was going to be my question.
DATA: With my repository of knowledge, I expected to perform better against a humanoid life form.
TROI: You know, some of our greatest advances have come from analysing failure. While it can be ego-bruising
DATA: But Counsellor, I do not have an ego.
TROI: Yes. Well, a loss can be disheartening.
DATA: But Counsellor, I do not have a
TROI: Data. You can handle defeat in two ways. You can lose confidence, or you can learn from your mistakes.
DATA: That is what troubles me. I made no mistakes. I have conducted a diagnostic check of all of my programs. I am cross-checking with the ship's computer.
TROI: Is that all necessary?
DATA: I believe so. I have proven to be vulnerable. At the present time, my deductions should be treated with scepticism.
TROI: That is why you haven't been on the Bridge.
DATA: Yes. The Captain would be ill advised to rely upon my judgement.
TROI: I think you're really over-reacting. I'm sure you're all right.
DATA: I, however, am not sure.

[Hathaway Engineering]

(Wesley's experiment is being put into a wall panel.)
LAFORGE: Easy now. Is that it?
WESLEY: Yeah.
LAFORGE: Good. Good work. All right, Hand me the connector on that kit.
RIKER: What is that?
WESLEY: My experiment from the Enterprise.
RIKER: Wes?
WESLEY: It deals with high energy plasma reactions with anti-matter.
RIKER: You went back to the Enterprise for that? Wes, you cheated.
WESLEY: No, sir. You told me to improvise.
LAFORGE: The hard part's going to be calibrating the thermal curve necessary to start a controlled reaction.
RIKER: Assuming you can, can you regulate the reaction?
WESLEY: There's just enough crystal to do it. We plan to channel the reaction through the chips.
LAFORGE: Are we good?
RIKER: You're better than good. Great. Brilliant. It's going to be fun. Carry on.

[Data's quarters]

DATA: Come in, please.
PULASKI: All right, Data, enough of this.
DATA: Doctor?
PULASKI: How long are you going to sit sulking like Achilles in his tent?
DATA: I am conducting diagnostic
PULASKI: You may be able to sell Troi that story, but not me. You're smarting because you were beaten. Well, it happens.
DATA: No, Doctor, this is not ego. I am concerned about giving the Captain unsound advice.
PULASKI: I wish I had never manoeuvred you into playing that game. I'm sorry.
DATA: Why, Doctor? It is done, and perhaps just as well. This has indicated that I am damaged in some fashion. I must find the malfunction.

[Hathaway Engineering]

RIKER: The simulation begins in one hour.
LAFORGE: You'll have warp drive, Captain, though it may not be what you expected.
RIKER: I think that deserves some kind of explanation.
LAFORGE: We'll have warp one for about
WESLEY: Just under two seconds.
RIKER: That's not long enough for an escape, but used as a surprise it may give a strategic advantage.
LAFORGE: Sir, all of this is theoretical.
RIKER: And if your theory fails to pay off?
LAFORGE: Ever driven a Grenthemen Water Hopper?
RIKER: Yes.
LAFORGE: Ever popped the clutch?
RIKER: You're saying we're going to stall the Hathaway?
WESLEY: And the Enterprise will waltz right over and pulverise us.

[Ready room]

PICARD: Let me try to understand. You're saying that Commander Data is suffering from a profound loss of confidence, and that you believe only I can restore the balance?
TROI: Yes, sir.
PULASKI: Both Deanna and I have tried, but we're not getting through to him.
PICARD: Don't you think you both might be overreacting? Data is not capable of the emotions which you are assigning to him.
PULASKI: The effects are the same, whether they're caused by human emotions or android algorithms. Data's not on the Bridge, and I don't think Data's going to be on the Bridge until we find some way to address his problem.
PICARD: I am less than an hour away from a battle simulation, and I have to hand-hold an android.
PULASKI: The burdens of command.

[Data's quarters]

DATA: Come in, please.
PICARD: Commander, I require your presence on the Bridge.
DATA: Captain, with all due respect, perhaps it would be better if you choose another to serve as your First Officer.
PICARD: Data, you are my First Officer.
DATA: I have not been able to isolate the problem, sir. I might make a mistake.
PICARD: Yes, you might. But that does not alter your duty to me and to this ship. Now, do you know how to formulate a premise?
DATA: Yes, sir.
PICARD: Then formulate this one. How do I deal Riker and the Hathaway? I will await your answer on the Bridge.
And, Commander, it is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.
DATA: I believe I understand, sir.
PICARD: And Data, will you leave your hesitation and self-doubt here in your quarters.

[Observation lounge]

DATA: I have several examples of Commander Riker's battle technique. At the Academy, he calculated a sensory blind spot on a Tholian vessel and hid within it during a battle simulation. And as a lieutenant aboard the Potemkin, his solution to a crisis was to shut down all power, and hang over a planet's magnetic poles, thus confusing his opponent's sensors.
TROI: And from these specifics, what general conclusion can you extrapolate?
DATA: Only twenty-one percent of the time does he rely upon traditional tactics. So, the Captain must be prepared for unusual cunning. Counsellor, Commander Riker will assume we have made this analysis, and knowing that we know his methods, he will alter them. But, knowing that we know that he knows that we know, he might choose to return to his usual pattern.
TROI: Wait, wait. You're over-analysing, Data. One cannot deny human nature. What kind of a man is Commander Riker?
DATA: A fighter?
TROI: Yes.
DATA: The weaker his position, the more aggressive will be his posture.
TROI: And he won't give up.
DATA: Then despite whatever options he is given, he must be
TROI: The man that he is. Exactly.
DATA: Is that a failing in humans?
TROI: You'll have to decide that for yourself.

[Bridge]

PICARD: On screen. The hunt begins, Number One. 
RIKER [on screen]: We're ready. Just remember, Enterprise. Captain Riker has never lost.
KOLRAMI: Begin now.
PICARD: Screen off. Set course two two three mark three five seven. Full impulse power. Initiate Kumeh manoeuvre.

[Hathaway Bridge]

LAFORGE: Kumeh manoeuvre? Why would they start out with such a recognisable ploy?
RIKER: He's teasing. He wants us to reveal our tactics on his terms. Mister Worf?
WORF: Counter with Talupian manoeuvre on instrument sighting.
RIKER: Agreed. Three quarters impulse, full on my command. Ensign Nagel, maximum shields. Mister Worf, prepare your little surprise.
WORF: Aye, sir.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Set course three one mark seven three. Present minimal aspect. Ready warp one, optimal spread on simulated torpedoes.
BURKE: Captain. Romulan warship approaching fast from astern.
PICARD: What the?
BURKE: It came from nowhere, sir!
PICARD: Bring us about, Ensign. Maximum shields.
DATA: Disengage modified beams.
PICARD: Full weapon systems. Lock on. Open a hailing frequency.
BURKE: I can't, sir. There's nothing there.
(Kolrami laughs as the Hathaway lands multiple hits on the Enterprise)
PICARD: Warp three, evasive. Stand by. Disengage weapons and shields. Re-engage modified beam.
KOLRAMI: He's quite good.
PICARD: He's the best.
DATA: Computer reports simulated damage to several aft decks, sir. Repair time, three point six days.
BURKE: How did he do that?
PICARD: Mister Worf must have overridden the sensor codes, played some holographic games. Mister Data, input a new code. Attack posture, circumvental attitude. Prepare beams for photon mode.
BURKE: Bye, bye, Hathaway.

[Hathaway Bridge]

WORF: Computers report heavy damage to Enterprise.
WESLEY: They're moving off, sir. Why not go after them?
RIKER: Because they're not through coming after us. Wesley, Geordi, prepare to warp jump.
LAFORGE: There are no guarantees here, sir.
RIKER: There never are, Lieutenant. I'm going to trust your expertise. Secure your stations. Stand by for my signal.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Ready photon torpedoes. 
BURKE: Captain, sensors picking up a Ferengi warship closing at warp five.
PICARD: Did you input that new code?
BURKE: Aye, sir.
PICARD: Mister Worf, I didn't give you enough credit. Continue the simulation.
(And they are hit with a real weapons blast)
PICARD: Divert all power to shields!
DATA: Sever modified beams.
PICARD: Stay between the Ferengi and the Hathaway.
DATA: Engage phasers and target.
PICARD: Fire when ready.

[Hathaway Bridge]

NAGEL: That's no ghost attacking the Enterprise. That's real.
WORF: We must assist, sir.
RIKER: With what? We have no offensive weapons.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Where are my weapons?
BURKE: Unavailable, sir! We cannot disengage the modified beams. The connections have been fused.
KOLRAMI: We must retreat!
PICARD: Unacceptable!
DATA: The Ferengi have broken off their attack. Drop shields. Transport the away team aboard.
BURKE: Transporter functions gone, sir.
DATA: Shields reduced to one fifth intensity.
KOLRAMI: Use their moment of indecision to escape!
PICARD: I have forty crewmembers on board the Hathaway.
KOLRAMI: Who should be sacrificed to save a thousand! Acceptable tactical losses, considering the circumstances.
PICARD: Not to me! Notify Starfleet. Priority. Hail the Ferengi on my command. Formulate alternatives.
KOLRAMI: As the Starfleet observer I am ordering you to withdraw!
PICARD: I am the Captain of this vessel! Your order is nullified! Ferengi on main viewscreen.
(The familiar sight of Armin Shimmerman in Ferengi makeup greets us)
PICARD: I am Jean-Luc Picard, of the Federation Starship, USS Enterprise. Why have you attacked my vessel?
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: Why was your ship combative with another Federation vessel of lesser design? Why do you now protect your former target? What is its value to you?
TACTICIAN [on viewscreen]: Our probes indicate you were aware of our approach, yet took no action.
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: Your answers will dictate our response.
PICARD: We have refrained from launching a counter-attack in the hope that this can be resolved this peacefully.
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: Our probes indicate that you are crippled, and the ship you protect has no weaponry, no light speed drive, and only a scarce crew.
TACTICIAN [on viewscreen]: This makes no sense to us. Unless it contains something very valuable.
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: I am Bractor, leader of the Ferengi attack vessel Kreechta. I shall have the secret of the other Federation ship. Surrender it to me, and I will allow your Enterprise to leave unharmed. You have ten of your minutes.
BURKE: Sir, they're massing a surge of power. We're being scanned. They've locked on.
PICARD: Data?
DATA: Our shields will not withstand another assault.
KOLRAMI: Then there are no options. Retreat or die.

Captain's log, supplemental. Due to a miscalculation on my part, Enterprise has been subjected a surprise attack by the Ferengi. I find myself with little time to decide the fate of forty of my crew stranded aboard the derelict Hathaway.

PICARD: I am open to suggestions.
BURKE: Captain, we are now capable of launching a limited number of photon torpedoes.
KOLRAMI: I've already given you my advice, Captain. The Hathaway is expendable.
BURKE: Commander Riker is hailing, sir.
PICARD: On screen. Number One, have you been monitoring communications?
RIKER [on viewscreen]: And Kolrami's right. You've got to save the Enterprise.
PICARD: That would leave you defenceless.
RIKER: When Bractor closes in, we'll hit our warp drive and take our chances.
PICARD: Your what?
RIKER: We have a limited, two-second warp capability.
KOLRAMI: Impossible! That ship was rendered warp inactive.
PICARD: I told you he was the best. I'd like to hear about this, Number One, later. Right now I have to work something out with Mister Data.

[Observation lounge]

DATA: Premise. The Ferengi wish to capture the Hathaway believing it to be value. Therefore we must remove the ship from their field of interest. 
KOLRAMI: And they will soon relocate it after a two second warp.
PICARD: There is a way. Number One, can you hear this?
RIKER [OC]: Yes, sir. We're all here.

[Hathaway Bridge] RIKER: Waiting for you to pull another rabbit out of your hat.

[Observation lounge]

PICARD: Mister Data
DATA: On the Captain's signal, we will fire four photon torpedoes directly at the Hathaway.

[Hathaway Bridge]

DATA [OC]: One millisecond after its detonation, the computer will trigger your warp jump.
LAFORGE: I think I hate this plan. Data, we're not even sure our warp jump

[Observation lounge]

LAFORGE [OC]: Will work.
DATA: If the warp engines fail to function, the result could be unfortunate.
WORF [OC]: Very unfortunate. [Hathaway Bridge]

WORF: We will be dead.
PICARD [OC]: Captain Riker

[Observation lounge]

PICARD: I cannot order you to do this.

[Hathaway Bridge]

RIKER: What the hell. Nobody said life was safe.

[Observation lounge]

PICARD: The advantage is, that it will appear from the Kreechta's perspective as though you were destroyed in the explosion.

[Hathaway Bridge]

WORF: That only deceive them for a few minutes. Their sensors will soon locate us.
RIKER: We'll only need few minutes, Mister Worf, because you're going to prepare another surprise for them.
PICARD [OC]: Then we're agreed.

[Observation lounge]

PICARD: On my mark, four minutes.
DATA: Remember, Geordi, if the implementation is off by a millisecond

[Hathaway Bridge]

DATA [OC]: The Hathaway will not survive.
LAFORGE: Data, that's the one part of this plan that we're all absolutely sure about.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Are we ready, Number One?
DATA: Ready, Captain.
RIKER [OC]: Ready, Captain.
PICARD: Good luck to both of you. Bractor.
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: I will wait no longer, Picard.
PICARD: You needn't. The answer is no. Your actions have been wholly criminal. You will not profit by them.
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: You are a fool.
TACTICIAN [on viewscreen]: How can you stop us?
PICARD: You feel the Hathaway has value? We deny you your prize. Fire!
(There's a big fireball behind the Enterprise, and when it clears, the Hathaway is gone)
TACTICIAN [on viewscreen]: Destroy your own rather than suffer the ignominy of defeat and capture?
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: I did not think the Federation had such iron.
PICARD: You had no claim to that vessel. It was ours to destroy.
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: As you are ours to destroy.
PICARD: You can try.
TACTICIAN [on viewscreen]: Enterprise targeted, Leader. Leader, there is another Federation ship closing. A starship!
BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: Maximum shields! We have been outmanoeuvred. Retreat!
(The Ferengi ship turns on a sixpence and whizzes off leaving an orange wake)
BURKE: Captain, our sensors show no Federation starship nearby.
RIKER [OC]: Of course not, Mister Burke. That was Klingon guile.
PICARD: You made it, Number One. Smooth ride?
RIKER [OC]: Well, it certainly was different.
PICARD: We'll lock on and pick you up.
RIKER [OC]: With pleasure, Captain.
KOLRAMI: I must admit your Commander Riker acquitted himself quite admirably. And so, Captain, have you. My report to Starfleet will be most favourable.
PICARD: Thank you. Initiate recovery procedures. Continue repairs. Plot a course for the nearest starbase.

Captain's log, supplemental. With the transporter repaired and my crew safely back aboard, we have officially ended our first Starfleet battle simulation.[Ten forward]

(Riker and Pulaski enter as a Strategema game between Data and Kolrami is in full flow. The crowd are very excited. The scores are in the 32000! and climbing. Kolrami is sweating, Data is unblinking and has a slight smile.)
KOLRAMI: Bah! (throws off the controls)
DATA: Why have you suspended the game?
KOLRAMI: Because this is not a rematch. You have made a mockery of me.
(Kolrami exits in high dudgeon)
RIKER: Data, you beat him!
DATA: No, sir. It is a stalemate.
WORF: No game of Strategema has ever gone this high.
LAFORGE: What did you do?
DATA: I simply altered my premise for playing the game.
RIKER: Explain.
DATA: Working under the assumption that Kolrami was attempting to win, it is reasonable to assume that he expected me to play for the same goal.
WESLEY: You didn't.
DATA: No. I was playing only for a standoff, a draw. While Kolrami was dedicated to winning, I was able to pass up obvious avenues of advancement and settle for a balance. Theoretically, I should be able to challenge him indefinitely.
PULASKI: Then you have beaten him.
DATA: It is a matter of perspective, Doctor. In the strictest sense, I did not win.
TROI + PULASKI: Data!
DATA: I busted him up.
ALL: Yes!